The Bard
by OmoideKeeper
Summary: This is meant to be read along with Tenmei's 'A Knife Clothed in Silk' This goes into depth on one of the characters in the series 'The Secret Texts', Karyl, the bard of the lieutenants, and his feelings.


The Bard

By OmoideKeeper

* * *

People say I sing sad songs. Well, perhaps I do. Maybe at times I'm a bit melancholy about things, and possibly I'm also a bit dejected about life in general. It's conceivable at times, that I might appear to be caught up in my music, my obsession with those dismal melodies which no one can stand to listen to for too long, lest they go mad with grief. Well, that's the way always Yanth describes them to anyone who bothers to ask at least. 

Well, just so you know, you might be a bit heavy-hearted too, if you were the oldest of a party of six friends, all of whom were at least a bit insane--on their good days. You might be a bit depressed if you watched four out of the five other friends fall in love with the last friend. You might be a bit downcast if you saw the four pair off first to hide their passion for the fifth friend, and finally because passion itself demanded it. 

You might be a bit dispirited if you realized you were also falling prey to the fifth's charms, and you were left out by the other four. You might get a bit aggravated with women who tried to force their attentions on you if you were in love with this person you could never have for so many good reasons. You might be a little rude to them as well. 

It's quite possible for someone to get over all of those troubles. I'll admit that much, I don't handle those situations very well. 

Then again, I'm not sure how easy it would be for anyone to handle it. 

I'm not sure how another person would find it, discovering that you've fallen--and are still falling--deeper and deeper in love with your leader, your commander, your best friend, your patron--and your cousin.   
Ry Sabir is all of those things to me and so much more.   
Worry not my gentle friend,   
Of the battles we will face.   
Stand beside me, and without fail,   
We will all return together,   
Just like the good old days,   
Of sweet daisies chains   
And well earned bruises,   
Of tavern ale   
And sweet lush beauties.   
So sleep well for now,   
My dear, dear friend   
And when you wake,   
I will be here to greet you   
To lead you from the   
Dark of despair and,   
Bathe you in   
Our Light. 

  
A bit of poetry turned into a song I composed for my friends, my beloved friends. Trev, our child, our advisor at any time. Valard, our light, who can see each side. Jaim, the silent one, almost forgotten amongst the rest of us. Yanth, the talkative one, the knife clothed in silk. All of us at Ry's disposal, his lieutenants. 

For Ry, we ground him. We pull him back to this world when he begins to drift away to the land of dreams. We have Yanth to speak to him out of passion. We have Trev to counsel him in times of need. We have Valard to show the other side. We have Jaim to pull it all together. I, on the other hand, can only speak to him as bluntly as I always have. 

I tell him out and out what we face. 

Perhaps it's one of my faults. I admit, most of the time, it seems as though I've done him wrong by speaking so cynically, so darkly, but I'm afraid that if he flies too far away on those clouds of dreams, that he'll never return, that I'll lose him forever. 

Foolish of me to think I could ever hold onto him. To hold onto Ry, to clip his wings, to keep him from soaring as he is wont to do, that would be the cruelest thing. It would destroy him. I know that. I understand that. I would never do anything that would harm him. 

It's almost funny, actually, how we all love Ry. 

Of course, you would almost expect it from Yanth, he's always been the closest to Ry, his first lieutenant. And from Trev, the youth who understands much beyond what it seems he should, yes, you can see why he loves Ry. With Valard as well, you can see how he would love Ry, how everything he does is in that sly manner of his. Jaim, well, who knows with Jaim? His silence is enough for him, but I wonder often, does he feel alone? Is that why he loves Ry? 

For myself, I'm not sure. What cause can I give for falling in love with my commander, my cousin? I have none. Nothing I can give will suffice, except for acknowledging the fact that he's damn irresistible sometimes. 

I know, I know. Bad excuse. But what do you expect from me? Ry carries himself with such passion and vigor. His dreams light up the skies, and draw us ever closer, moths drawn to the flame of his visions. His eyes, pale and always filled with emotions. His golden hair, his ability to appear at ease at any time in his life. 

I'm not saying that my beloved Ry doesn't have his faults. Of course he does. If I got a single coin for every time I've ever heard him say those words, "It seemed like a good idea at the time" I'd be rich and I would never have to worry about anything again. He gets us into enormous amounts of trouble. He brings us into things that would destroy anyone else. 

But we don't care. We would give anything for him. 

It's not just the fact that we're all in love with him. For me, it's because I trust him. As foolish as that is at times, I trust his judgment, mostly. 

For my friends, I would be happy if they were all happy. Which is the main reason we're traveling across the world to only the gods know where, chasing after a girl Ry's obsessed over right now. Yes. A _girl_ Ry's obsessed over. 

But that doesn't matter as much to the other four anymore. They have each other. 

Trev and Valard. Jaim and Yanth. 

And myself. Karyl. On the side, left alone because of who I am, and the way I am. 

It would figure that Ry would fall in love with a girl. After all, he's never gotten the slightest hint that there might be something more than just casual friendship between any of use, never understood what it's like for the rest of us to watch him everyday and to know that we can't touch him, no matter how much we love him or adore him. 

Well, Jaim and Yanth seem to be happy together, for all their differences. Trev and Valard are happy as well. And I'm sure Ry will be happy as soon as we get his bride for him. His bride who happens to be of the _Galweigh_ Family--the arch enemies of the Sabirs. His bride who happens to be far away from him and out of his reach right now. 

Well, they'll all be happy. 

When we were younger, we used to all play together, and I felt that I was needed in some respects. To be the peacemaker, to keep them from ripping each others heads off, yes, I felt justified in staying with them. As we got older it seemed that they needed me less and less. And now? Well, they don't exactly need me. 

But I stay with them. Being with them is like a drug, a sense of ecstasy comes over me whenever I'm with them. The reason? Ry. 

All right, I'll admit, it's unhealthy to be so caught up on one person, especially if that person is your cousin. But I'll tell you something else. To hear a single word drop from Ry's lips is like giving a man dying of thirst a spring from which to drink from. To see the sunbeams playing across his face, is to see perfection. 

I sound like a love-struck boy. But it's all true. 

I'm not like the others. I'm not like Yanth, who might as well go up to Ry and proclaim his love, his actions are so blatant. Nor am I like Jaim, who will simply remain silent and on the side, ready to be there in a second if he's needed. Nor am I like Valard or Trev, who hint, but never say a word about it. 

I sulk in silence and frustration. It's not fair that we should all have to fall in love with the one person who's so obviously oblivious to all of what's going on. It's absolutely infuriating to have to be near him at all times because I can't stay away from him, but to know that I can never have him. 

My melodies and I have one thing in common. Both of us carry our own melancholy thoughts. Both of us sing to the night. Both of us hope to be recognized. 

Now I'm talking to inanimate objects. 

But I know, when I travel to the Veil, everything will make a bit of sense. When my singing days are done, and when I'm ready to let go, I'll find that winding road to the veil, and I know it'll all make sense. If I'm the first one there, I'll wait for the others before going back. After all, no matter where I am, I'll remember all of my friends--even if thoughts of Ry are prevalent-- forever.   
Those singing days are gone, my friend,   
It's time to let it go.   
I cherish what we've held together,   
I retain what we have lost. I can follow the sound of your voice,   
I can search from far and wide.   
But ne'er again,   
Will our minds touch, my friend.   
For now this time is done. For once I cross this border,   
You and I shall never meet.   
Ne'er again shall we talk of daisy chains,   
Of childish pranks and gifts. And I will follow this winding road,   
Wherever it shall lead me.   
And my faithful friend, your light,   
Shall guide me on my way. The Veil is not so dark now,   
For I know you will remember.   
I trust in you, my friend, my love.   
I'll remember you forever. 


End file.
